goddamn son of a bitch

I habitually remember I have one of these. Kind of like a Last.FM thing, or a cell phone charger. It's damn near 4 a.m. and I'm listening to repeated covers of "Teenage Dirtbag" for some reason. I'm moving to Michigan soon, against my will, on some kind of mission for self improvement or something. I don't really know. I'm not exactly excited about it. Considering I'm not entirely fond of my family. Not that I hate them. They are family. But any time I'm around them for long times, I'm significantly less happy and enthused about life. Which probably means I shouldn't be around them. Basically, if I wanted to feel like shit, hanging around family accomplishes the same goal as watching a bunch of reality TV or listening to the entire Elliott Smith catalog.

Although, listening to a lot of Smiths while walking around town in some kind of last ditch effort to enjoy my remaining time can't exactly help either. At least I do it at night and don't creep out children. I think it would creep out kids if I'm walking around all the time staring at things and having flashes of memories and deja vu and shit.

If I had to list definitive albums of my time growing up in Barrington, they would be:
-The Shins, Oh Inverted World
-Green Day, American Idiot
-The Arcade Fire, Funeral
-The Shins, Wincing The Night Away
-Weezer, Pinkerton
-The Smiths, The Queen Is Dead

If a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side would be such a heavenly way to die. If a ten ton truck kills the both of us, oh the pleasure, the privilege would be mine.

s!mon.

ZOMG I R RETURNZ

K, so I remembered I had one of these. Neat. I remember promising some kind of playlist based on highschool like last January when I was still there, or bored. I made it in May, and yeah. I figured it's a dick move to tease something and not deliver, so here it is.

Late Onset BHS Pride

1. John Williams - The Princess Appears
2. ABBA - Dancing Queen
3. Foo Fighters - All My Life
4. A-Ha - Take On Me
5. Blink 182 - Dammit
6. Ben Folds - Landed
7. Alkaline Trio - Stupid Kid
8. Tomoyasu Hotei - Battle Without Honor or Humanity
9. Beck - E-Pro
10. Zombie Nation - Kernkraft 400
11. Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
12. Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
13. Beck - Devil's Haircut
14. Steve Miller Band - The Joker
15. Minnie Ripperton - Loving You
16. Johnny Cash - When The Man Comes Around
17. Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia
18. The Shins - New Slang
19. Beastie Boys - Intergalactic
20. Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
21. Grandmaster Flash - White Lines
22. Rage Against The Machine - Mic Check
23. Sugar Hill Gang - Rapper's Delight
24. Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
25. Goblin - L'alba Del Morti Viventi
26. Weezer - Why Bother
27. Green Day - Walking Contradiction
28. The Verve vs. Jay-Z - Bittersweet Dirt Off Your Shoulder
29. Johnny Cash - Hurt
30. Radiohead - Karma Police
31. The Shins - Turn A Square
32. American Hi-Fi - Flavor Of The Week
33. Green Day - At The Library
34. Blink 182 - Wendy Clear
35. Radiohead - No Surprises
36. Belle & Sebastian - If She Wants Me
37. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
38. The White Stripes - We're Going To Be Friends
39. Blink 182 - A New Hope
40. The Shins - Girl Inform Me
41. Nirvana - About A Girl
42. Bright Eyes - The Biggest Lie
43. Green Day - The Judge's Daughter
44. Death Cab For Cutie - Styrofoam Plates
45. Elliott Smith - 2:45 a.m.
46. Green Day - She's a Rebel
47. Architecture in Helsinki - One Heavy February
48. Elliott Smith - Pretty (Ugly Before)
49. Foo Fighters - February Stars
50. The Flaming Lips - Suddenly Everything Has Changed
51. Weezer - Falling For You
52. The Shins - Caring is Creepy
53. The Clash - London Calling
54. Bowling For Soup - Smoothie King
55. The All-American Rejects - Swing Swing
56. Joshua Radin - Today
57. Green Day - Disappearing Boy
58. Smashing Pumpkins - Today
59. Weezer - My Best Friend
60. Bright Eyes - Pull My Hair
61. Blink 182 - Reckless Abandon
62. The Shins - We Will Become Silhouettes
63. The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
64. The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
65. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism
66. The Magnetic Fields - I'm Sorry I Love You
67. Elliott Smith - Say Yes
68. Foo Fighters - Everlong
69. Joey Ramone - What A Wonderful World
70. Lazlo Bane - I'm No Superman
71. Green Day - Church On Sunday
72. Butthole Surfers - Dracula From Houston
73. Leroy - Good Time
74. Cheap Trick - Surrender
75. The Jesus & Mary Chain - Almost Gold
76. Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me
77. Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky
78. Blink 182 - Josie
79. Green Day - Dominated Love Slave
80. Disney - A Whole New World
81. Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
82. The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
83. Green Day - Poprocks & Coke
84. The Velvet Underground - I'm Sticking With You
85. Radiohead - Everything In It's Right Place
86. Radiohead - The National Anthem
87. Green Day - Letterbomb
88. Radiohead - Let Down
89. Muse - Time Is Running Out
90. Nada Surf - If You Leave
91. The Beatles - Ticket To Ride
92. Elliott Smith - A Fond Farewell
93. Keane - This Is The Last Time
94. Elliott Smith - Bye
95. Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life
96. A New Found Glory - My Heart Will Go On
97. Alkaline Trio - Back to Hell
98. Green Day - 2000 Lightyears Away
99. The Beatles - Yesterday
100. The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
101. Weezer - The World Has Turned And Left Me Here
102. The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?
103. Belle & Sebastian - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
104. Murray Gold - Doomsday
105. Radiohead - High & Dry
106. The Shins - Phantom Limb
107. Alkaline Trio - Goodbye Forever
108. Blink 182 - Online Songs
109. The Shins - Suddenly, Everything Has Changed
110. Weezer - Death & Destruction
111. The Shins - Turn On Me
112. Elliott Smith - The Biggest Lie
113. Alien Ant Farm - Movies
114. Belle & Sebastian - I Don't Love Anyone
115. Aqualung - Easier To Lie
116. The Beatles - We Can Work It Out
117. The Magnetic Fields - The Night You Can't Remember
118. The Postal Service - This Place Is A Prison
119. Belle & Sebastian - Seeing Other People
120. The Shins - Split Needles
121. The Smiths - I Know It's Over
122. The Flaming Lips - Fight Test
123. The Postal Service - Against All Odds
124. No Doubt - Don't Speak
125. Weezer - Say It Ain't So
126. Dashboard Confessional - The Sharp Hint of New Tears
127. Alkaline Trio - Fine Without You
128. The Shins - Girl Sailor
129. Rhett Miller - Come Around
130. Bell X1 - Eve, The Apple Of My Eye
131. Ben Folds Five - The Best Imitation Of Myself
132. Keane - Everybody's Changing
133. Green Day - I Want To Be Alone
134. Hawksley Workman - Stop Joking Around
135. Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely
136. Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide
137. The Magnetic Fields - I Don't Want To Get Over You
138. Beulah - Popular Mechanics For Lovers
139. The Perishers - Trouble Sleeping
140. Belle & Sebastian - My Wandering Days Are Over
141. Beck - Lost Cause
142. The Smiths - That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
143. Of Montreal - Requiem For O.M.M.2.
144. Modest Mouse - Bankrupt on Selling
145. The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
146. Dashboard Confessional - The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
147. The Beatles - I'm Looking Through You
148. The White Stripes - The Union Forever
149. Foo Fighters - New Way Home
150. U2 - Stuck In A Moment
151. Alkaline Trio - Hell Yes
152. Foo Fighters - Resolve
153. Bright Eyes - Make War
154. Third Eye Blind - How's It Gonna Be?
155. Elliott Smith - A Distorted Reality Is a Necessity To Be Free
156. The Clash - Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
157. The Smiths - I Want The One I Can't Have
158. Green Day - Why Do You Want Him?
159. Bright Eyes - We Are Nowhere And It's Now
160. Elliott Smith - A Passing Feeling
161. Death Cab For Cutie - A Lack of Color
162. Led Zeppelin - Nobody's Fault But Mine
163. Shiny Toy Guns - Don't Cry Out
164. Sebadoh - On Fire
165. Of Montreal - Cato As a Pun
166. Shout Out Louds - Wish I Was Dead Pt. 2
167. Elliott Smith - Needle In The Hay
168. The Shins - A Comet Appears
169. Finger Eleven - One Thing
170. Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
171. Radiohead - There, There (The Boney King of Nowhere.)
172. The Beatles - Hey Jude
173. Keane - Put It Behind You
174. Jet - Move On
175. Francis Dunnery - Good Life
176. Ben Folds - Bitches Ain't Shit
177. Foo Fighters - I'll Stick Around
178. Weezer - The Good Life
179. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
180. The Beatles - With A Little Help From My Friends
181. Neutral Milk Hotel - In An Aeroplane Over The Sea
182. Ben Folds - Learn To Live With What You Are
183. DVDA - Now You're A Man
184. The Shins - Saint Simon
185. Journey - Don't Stop Believing
186. Green Day - Burnout
187. Ben Folds - Rocking The Suburbs
188. Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
189. Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer
190. NESkimos - The Legend of Zelda
191. The Beach Boys - Be True To Your School
192. The Shins - Mine's Not A High Horse
193. The Clash - Train in Vain (Stand By Me)
194. Del The Funky Homosapien - No More Worries
195. Nena - 99 Luftballoons
196. Will Smith - The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air
197. Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
198. Sonic Youth - Superstar
199. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive
200. Lipps, Inc. - Funkytown
201. Beastie Boys - Sabatoge
202. Charlie Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to Georgia
203. Styx - Mr. Roboto
204. Will Smith - Miami
205. Blink 182 - Going Away To College
206. Oasis - Don't Look Back in Anger
207. Nine Inch Nails - Corona Radiata
208. John Williams - Funeral Pyre For a Jedi
209. The Bouncing Souls - Night Train
210. Shout Out Louds - Tonight I Have To Leave It
211. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
212. The Bouncing Souls - Anchors Aweigh
213. Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me
214. Semisonic - Closing Time
215. Will Smith - Will2K
216. John Williams - Duel Of The Fates
217. Band of Horses - The End's Not Near, It's Here
218. Vitamin C - Graduation (Friends Forever)
219. Elgar - Pomp & Circumstance
220. The Beatles - In My Life

I've hibernated all summer.

Seriously, what the fuck happened to summer? Like, I remembered I had a blog here at 3:01 in the morning, which says a lot about summer. I saw that I hadn't updated in 2 months, and then I saw that the last post which was 2 months ago was about graduation, and it still feels like a week. Maybe that's because I'm lazy and haven't done shit all summer, or maybe it's because I'm one-half an emotionally stunted manchild who takes a while to catch on. And I know me and how I operate, and shit's not going to sink in until either a.) I watch Baby Looney Tunes before the first day of college because I'm a badass who scheduled shit so he can watch cartoons and MXC, or b.) I show up, and realize that I only know 3-4 people there, and there's no support system. Bittersweet, no?

Anyways, one productive thing I *have* been doing is working on a bit of a project, or something I said I was going to do the summer after graduation, which is making a massive playlist on my iPod called "BHS Pride" (something I didn't get until now, oddly enough), about all the songs that represent high school for me, so that's what a lazy person does, I guess. 167 songs as of now, obviously lots of The Shins, Green Day, the usual, etc. I might post it, I might not. I get self-conscious. Not sure why I have a blog if I feel self-conscious.

One of my favorite comedians Lewis Black recently decided that blogging was the root of all evil. I might have to reconsider this whole thing. Black is probably the best alive, since Carlin died earlier this summer. When it rains, it pours, I guess. Although, according to him, Carlin will never die, he'll just pass away. Fucking euphemisms.

*doo doooo* hey hey hey HEEEYYY!

So I'm a highschool graduate. Whoo.

I'm pretty sure it's not a big deal, except that it can say "He was a highschool graduate" in my obituary should something tragic happen instead of "He's currently attending highschool", which I guess is nice. Also, it's the farthest I've gotten in school, and considering my family, and I think that only my dad, and my cousin Kate have actually graduated from college, I guess that makes me a real person now. So there's that...

Plus, on the last day of school, I got to listen to "Don't You Forget About Me" as I walked out and did the John Bender from The Breakfast Club fist pump, which while incredibely lame and retarded, is something I always wanted to do.

Also, the ceremony was probably not worth it just for the nice minute it took me to walk across the stage and make a stupid look on the Jumbotron that a church shouldn't have (but I digress). I did get to shake teacher's hands, and there were an alarming amount of math teachers there, and that just sparked a guilt trip about trying harder in school. I did get to hug Ms. J and my dean, and one of those was awkward because we kinda hate each other, and one was awesome, because she was my favorite teacher ever. Also, I high fived the leader of Amnesty International.

And then I waited for an hour until it was over and cheered for my friends and told Frank Tsai that I wanted him inside of me. And then it hit me, that this is really it. Which sucks completely, and is also incredibly awesome. At first, as I walked across the stage, and got that feeling that normal people get when they shed a tear or two, I was actually kind of sad. And then we were driving home, and some womenfolk were driving past blaring rap music.

The first thought was then something like..."Oh, I'm so happy right now."

You're barely a shoe.

So I had the entire day off, because suddenly Barrington RULES when I'm a senior, and I would like to point out things that happen to fucking rule.

1. 11 hours of sleep. I have not gotten 11 hours of sleep since spring break, and understandably, this ruled.

2. cartoons. I downloaded some Baby Looney Tunes.

3. Daytime television. I watched MXC for an hour, Disorderly Conduct, a few awesome video clip shows, and a few hours of COPS~! with some awesome fucking naps in between and a trip to the Jewel for some snack food and soda.

4. Getting my new technology to fucking work finally. I finally found Gordon's camera, and for like the first time ever, he wasn't full of shit when he said that he had something I might want. Also, I finally started to load shit onto my new iPod (named Toto), and let's hope/pray/think really hard that it doesn't commit suicide this time.

I've also become one of the most succesful people in my family, by way of getting accepted to college, meaning that I win by doing nothing.

Return of the Jedi

So, I decided to waste my day today and eat leftover Key Lime pie, some chocolate, and to sit on the couch and watch cartoons and then around 1, I had a sudden urge to watch Return of the Jedi, which I obviously own, because I have the right to exist.

I haven't seen this movie since I was like 12 or 13, and it's in large part because I hate Ewoks more than I hate...things that I hate a lot. In the words of Chuck Klosterman in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, if I ever meet a girl who says she has dreams of polar bears mauling Ewoks, I may love her forever. Seriously, I get that these are kid's movies. I do. It still annoys the crap out of me, much like Jar Jar Binks.

However, when I remembered that my VHS (yeah, I wanted to see the original version) remote had a fast-forward button...I was happy again, and in my mind, there were no Ewoks. I still have a hard time buying Luke as a enlightened, lightsaber using, mind trick pulling badass Jedi Knight when this was the same guy in Empire who was a whiny bitch whose bitchness get his hand lost, but I suppose that's the beauty of being able to skip years into the future. I kind of hate George Lucas. Yes, I love Darth Vader. Probably the most awesome villain ever. Doesn't mean I want to see him as a 9 year old. Episodes I and II were mostly abysmal, and I blame him for that. If Episode III wasn't awesome, then I would be very disenfranchised with the entire...franchise.

Also, this movie has Admiral Ackbar, and thusly has "IT'S A TRAAAAPPP!", which is now a modern day saying for anything bad that seems good. Like a tranny, a vanilla coke that is actually urine, or a midget that instead of hurting your enemies, repeatedly kicks and bites your ankles and calves.

Lastly, Empire/Vader/Luke scenes are pretty much always awesome, and given how Episode III went, that makes them even more awesome. Empire Palpatine is just so insanely quotable, even if it is incredibly creepy when people who aren't him do it. Also, the soundtrack is pretty boss.

Yes, I own the entire Star Wars soundtrack.

I miss Arrested Development.

February 10th, 2006.

It's nearly 2 years since that day. See, I have no emotional or personal connection to this date. Nothing awesome happened to me on that day, or anything awful either. It was however, the airdate of the last ever episode of Arrested Development, possibly now my 2nd favorite TV series ever. I never saw the last 5 or so episodes until I bought the 3rd season recently, and wow. Really really amazing stuff that wrapped up everything in the series*, brought the nostalgia rewarding for longtime viewers, and went in a perfect arc with Michael quitting before he became completely corrupt. There's just some ndecribable quality in this show that I cannot explain to someone who hasn't seen it. Basically, if you don't get it or don't like it, no explanation will do. But if you're like me and love this show, then no explanation is needed. It's just so beautiful and rewarding to have watched this for 3 seasons, and I can say that it did help to shape Simon from the ages 13 to 16. Plus, I have a little Michael Bluth in me. He's the main character, and essentially a good guy, but at times he's just SUCH a dick and it's completely natural for him being surrounded be crazy people all the time.

* = Except for the George-Michael/Maebe story. I mean, there was the entire thing about how George-Michael can't date Maebe because they're family, but it was such a down note in comparison to the rest of the finale (family = Maebe's mom was adopted, but nobody knew until recently, so yeah.). Plus, I can't help but get behind them. George Michael is so much like me when I was 13, 14, and 15 (suddenly turned into a different person around Jan. 2006, but that's another point entirely) so I have this connection to him and want him to score his dream girl so much. Even if they are family. Plus, I have a gigantic crush on Alia Shawkat, who plays Maebe. And their characters are both awesome. They encite this fanboyishness in me to want to see things work out for these two, especially since they aren't technically related. They're like best friends who are so close they're like family, and that's cool too, but it was such a down ending here. George-Michael said "It's either Maebe or lonliness" and I gotta feel for the kid here. Family first, as dad always said for him. Oh, and he finally stood up to an authority figure at the end, and punched out Gob for dating his 18 year old ex-girlfriend.

Enough gushing.

I've been listening to too much Dashboard Confessional recently. I now have some odd blend of "Screaming Infidelities" on my head combined with "I Will Survive", "Dancing Queen", and Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" I cannot explain myself.

FUCK YES.

Youth in Revolt is being made into a movie, and Michael fucking Cera is playing the lead role of Nick Twisp. I love this book, and Cera happens to rule (see: Arrested, Superbad, Juno). Man, I love being alive right now, it's exciting. I already like 2008 more than 2007.